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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046400">rest my head at night, content</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NIQtraust/pseuds/Cornaith'>Cornaith (NIQtraust)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, Growing Old, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not really though, Oxenfurt, POV Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, The Coast™, geralt/jaskier - Freeform, no beta we die like renfri, this is focused on their friendship not romance, this is soft i swear</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:27:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26046400</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NIQtraust/pseuds/Cornaith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Geralt, like many of those who will live for centuries barring an unnatural death, struggles with the passing of time. Jaskier, unfortunately, is a human with a mortal lifespan. Far before Geralt slows and gets killed, Jaskier will grow old and die.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia &amp; Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>rest my head at night, content</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't think there are any trigger warnings applicable here, but if I missed something, please let me know. Despite whatever the summary and/or tags are implying, there is no death onscreen or mentioned. It is thought about, but no one actually dies.</p><p>This is only my second published work for this fandom, so please be nice! Constructive criticism is welcome though.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jaskier is only human, Geralt knows, and humans only live for so long. Still, things like the bard’s eventual natural death are easy to ignore when it’s just the two of them out on the Path, the passing of time only marked by the winters they spend apart. And eventually, even those blur together. They blur all the harder when Geralt finally works up the courage to ask Jaskier to winter with him at Kaer Morhen.</p><p>So really, when the bard starts bemoaning the grey hairs that are slowly but surely conquering his head, Geralt is more than a little surprised. He knew that his bard was no longer quite so young, but this change seems far too soon.</p><p>It only gets worse.</p><p>Soon, aching joints and repetitive stress injuries are catching up to the bard. Geralt does what he can, but this isn’t something he had ever been expecting to deal with. Most of his interactions with normal humans are a one-off thing, typically for getting a contract, very rarely two, and then never seeing them again. There are times he’ll lose track of the world passing by and will return to a town what feels like only a couple of years later, only to find that it’s been far, far longer than he had ever anticipated.</p><hr/><p>Jaskier has changed that. With his bard around, Geralt notices the passing of time. It has seemed slower to him, thanks to a break in his pattern of hunting and living in the woods, only ever dropping into towns to pick up contract work or to find himself thrown out on account of being a witcher. </p><p>With his bard, Geralt learns the news of what was going on in the rest of the world, the parts that did not concern witchers. The only reason he had ever felt the need to care about a war brewing was because of the coin it could bring in. Perhaps it was cruel, to profit on account of others’ suffering, but Geralt found ways he had to justify it. Clearing up the necrophages that lingered behind on the battlefield was a task that had to be done. He lowered his rates, mindful of the impoverished state of the townspeople who would hire him. But he too had to eat, and so he took the contracts.</p><p>Whether it is Nilfgaardians or northerners that hire him, coin is coin. Geralt is shortchanged regardless of what kingdom or empire whoever was hiring him was from. His bard helps to even out the damage, but even Jaskier’s silver tongue has its limits.</p><p> </p><p>When he foolishly agrees to accompany Jaskier to a Cintran banquet as protection, it's only natural that things go poorly. Geralt finds himself saddled with a child that he never wanted.</p><p>Time passes strangely after that, at once quickly and not at all. He notes each year passing, knowing that one has passed thanks to Jaskier pointing out Cirilla's birthday and the bard's increased disappointment with each year that Geralt doesn't go back for her. </p><p>But how could he go back? The Path is no place for a child, and Geralt cannot bring a toddler back to Kaer Morhen. So he continues as he always has since he met Jaskier, trailing in and out of the bard's life and travelling wherever the road and coin take him.</p><p> </p><p>Yennefer doesn't change his knowledge of the human lifespan, only throws it into sharp relief. She is timeless, like him. They will look young until the day they die, ageing only with the scars inflicted upon them. Jaskier seems so fragile compared to her. It’s no wonder that Geralt finds himself drawn to the sorceress. After all, his bard will be long dead one day and Yennefer will still be roaming the Continent.</p><p> </p><p>Things come to a head after a dragon hunt. Geralt sends them both away not out of anger, but out of a sense of fear and pity. They are not safe by his side, not when all he can ever bring is their death. Jaskier, in particular, needs to leave him. The bard has come far too close to losing his life with his harebrained choices to follow Geralt into hunts he knows are dangerous even for the witcher.</p><p>Shame burns the witcher, but he does not look back.</p><p> </p><p>Unfortunately, destiny conspires against him. Years later, he has brought Ciri to Kaer Morhen and watched her grow into a young woman who has made him proud. She urges him to chase after the bard his thoughts still wander to in the quiet. Geralt finds that his feet take him to Oxenfurt.</p><p>The university has grown up in the years since he last met Jaskier here after a winter apart. The last countless span of winters Geralt has spent at Kaer Morhen with only his brothers and Ciri for company. Yen comes by occasionally, but only ever to look after their daughter. She does not spare Geralt even a thought.</p><p>Geralt wanders through the streets of Oxenfurt, where he is recognised by some student or other. He is known as the White Wolf here, not as the Butcher. Geralt’s heart sinks as he realises he has another thing to thank Jaskier for. This place knows him as him.</p><p>He is taken to a classroom that must belong to his bard, for he can hear Jaskier’s voice coming from inside. His voice has changed, grown older, but Geralt could pick out his pattern of speech from the midst of a crowd. He has heard that voice countless times from across a campfire, from in a bed beside him when they cannot afford a second room, from above him as he lies bleeding out in some nameless wood. He knows that voice.</p><p>When at last he sees Jaskier again, they find themselves seated in a small garden. The bard has changed. Silver lines his hair now, wrinkles frame his eyes. Geralt apologises, though he does not mean the words. Jaskier knows. Geralt could never lie to him. So he confesses. Explains why he said what he did. Finds the words within him, because speaking them means have a chance at gaining his dearest friend back.</p><p>Jaskier… accepts. He does not agree with Geralt’s choice, but he can see the self-sacrificing nobility behind it. Fine material for a song, Geralt thinks.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>They find themselves on the road together again, and that is when Geralt truly begins to notice the differences. Jaskier is no longer the plucky youngster that Geralt picked up in Posada, and neither is he the more mature adult that he grew into. Now, his voice is warmer and laced with experience, though he is as cheeky as ever. He has more stories, has written more songs, has passed on his wisdom.</p><p>He is still as wanting as ever when it comes to writing songs about his witcher muse, and for that, Geralt is grateful. Some things, not even time could take from him.</p><hr/><p>But though for years more these changes do not impede much on their travels, there is no denying that Jaskier is old now. He does not rush into a hunt behind Geralt anymore. He does not engage every scoundrel who says something harsh about witchers in a bar fight. He has mellowed out, though Geralt can sense that the change is because of his slowly failing body, and not because his mind has stopped wanting to do such things.</p><p>It is what Geralt fears for himself. He fears not the day he will be too slow to survive and will perish, but the slow decline leading up to it. He fears for the days he will have to start turning down contracts in earnest, no longer trusting himself to go after gryphons, or bruxa, or succubi. He does not fear his death. When he set out on his Path, he knew that one day it would come.</p><p>He fears the change that is happening to Jaskier, is all.</p><p> </p><p>His bard is suffering, Geralt knows. He can no longer walk from dawn when Geralt must shake him away to hours after the sun has set. They must take breaks, and gradually those breaks grow longer. Geralt lets Jaskier ride Roach, if only out of a selfish desire to keep the bard at his side a little longer.</p><p>Jaskier fingers fail him too. They ache when he tries to play the lute for too long, and eventually, they ache before he has even started. The day he bestows Geralt his beloved instrument, tears in his eyes, is the day Geralt breaks.</p><p>He will forever treasure the lute, but for now, he must treasure his bard. The treated wood will last longer than the frail, breaking body of Jaskier.</p><p> </p><p>Geralt sees them to the coast. He sets Jaskier up in a village, where the bard can still speak and tell his stories. He struggles now to find the air to sing his songs, but he can talk for hours. Geralt loves his voice. He tells him so.</p><p>Geralt erects a small cabin outside of the village, where he brings Jaskier. Geralt cannot hang up his swords for good, but he does for a while. He sets his Path aside for a few more years. Jaskier is far dearer to his heart.</p><p> </p><p>They live in peace by the sea for a short span of years, Jaskier decaying faster now. He stills smiles, still speaks, still walks and stands in the spray of the ocean. But now it is Geralt who tells most of the stories, Geralt who records the bits of poetry and snatches of song that come to Jaskier’s mind since his bard struggles to hold the pen.</p><p>It hurts, but Geralt hides it. The man beside him has trailed after him for so much of his life that the least Geralt can do is give him a soft epilogue. Jaskier does not deserve the cruel fate of dying at the hands of some monster in a forgotten patch of woods.</p><p>Sometimes they sit on the sand and watch the waves for hours. Some evenings, Geralt aids Jaskier in walking into the water, letting the waves lap around their ankles. One day, he knows, he will have to let go. But for now, his bard is still a warm presence beside him, and Geralt is a selfish man.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welp.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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